Last weekend saw the congregation of my family members to commemerate the death of my grandpa. 100 days had passed since he died and a tradition spelled with a kenduri tahlil.Arrays of food were prepared: sambal goreng, ayam masak merah which I cooked with hubby, ikan parang masak acar, serunding kelapa, udang masak lemak, terung pacri which I personally loved the most,kuih-muih…overall.. the food were heavenly served to be eaten by anybody who came.
Kenduri is an happening in my grandma’s house which takes place many-many times in a year.The way I look at it is more like a traditon to gather the family members, cook good food and serve the orang surau.Agreeable for its good sense..but wonder does it really serve to read the tahlil meant for so many dead members whose names being spelled out one by one with every AlFateha recited?This is like “tahlil borong”.Till now I didn’t get myself attached to this concept.How many of us really sat down remorsefully thinking of those passed-away family members during the tahlil itself I wonder.
As for me, tahlil or no tahlil, these four people who have died will always be in my mind….. my late father whom I dearly missed so much who passed away 19 years ago..whose thought will always spill tears in my eyes…a five years old niece of my hubby’s side who died of dengue a year ago and me next to her on her death bed till her last breadth..the thought of her last moments brings so much “keinsafan” in me of how much I value and love my two boys…my late father -in -law who died a year ago too whom I spent his last nite with him, only me and him, in the hospital..mending to his needs as he laid sickly on his bed..suddenly I realised how much he reminded me of my late father that nite, and as I started to cherish the moments when suddenly he died the next morning..only God knows how devastated I was seeing him gone as how much I was reminded to see my own dad died in split second the nite after we talked and spent time together…..Lastly,my late grandpa who died of old age 3 months ago and me could still recall every second of his last moments with us…the ride home from the hospital with his dead body in that red van…..
The every day thought of these people in my life and prayers is indeed my true definition of tahlil.